30 May 2003

D' LOVERS NITESPOT

The town of Baclaran, where I have lived all of my life (except for the four years in the US), is full of girlie bars. Much more so now, when the City of Manila, about fifteen minutes away, closed down places like these a few years back. Now called KTVs, these places offer a place to drink, meet women (known as Guest Relations Officers or GROs). Actually KTV (derived from Karaoke Television) is a misnomer since you won't find a karaoke in the bar except in the VIP room. Most of these places are darkly lit, subdued, and more often than not, have women on stage stripping and gyrating to such songs as Bon Jovi's "Blaze of Glory". Not to be a hypocrite, I go to these places with friends once in a while.

But I am digressing.

In the early 70's, there weren't places like these. There weren't KTVs. Places with naked women dancing where scarce. There were Beergardens. Similar to KTV's where women serve your orders and also offer GROs (then called hostess) but instead of the karaoke, there were jukeboxes..

One of these beergardens, was D' Lovers Nitespot. In the day, it was a cafeteria and portrait studio. Yup, a portrait studio. A place where you go for an ID Picture for your uhhh... ID card. The person who used to man it was a guy called 'Boy Portrait'. A lot of people named 'Boy' here in the Philippines. Baclaran is not an exception. The guy who owned the then swanky girlie bar "Wild Duck" was called 'Boy Pato' (pato is the filipino word for duck). Even the guy who used to supply the jukeboxes in the town was called (yup) 'Boy Jukebox'.

Anyway...

D' Lovers Nitespot. I remember that place since it was just literally around the corner from where I lived. Around a hundred square feet, yellow linoleum tiles, white walls, red folding tables with matching chairs, and in the afternoon, a big camera on a tripod sitting in the side. At night, the camera is gone, all the lights are red, the tables are covered with red plastic table covers ,and the jukebox is cranking out Ben by Michael Jackson (or was it The Jackson Five?). Three women who both serve as waitress and hostess sit outside enticing the passersby to come in and have a drink. That was around 1974. I was six years old.

2003 and I'm 35 years old. D' Lovers Nitespot is still around. Still in Airport Road, it moved around two blocks from where it originally was. But the old metal sign is still there. The lights inside are (is?) still red. And there were still three women outside coaxing me to come in. The Portrait Studio is gone, closed in the early eighties when 'Boy Portrait' junked his aging camera and started collecting Jai Alai bets (and no, he wasn't called Boy Jai Alai he was still Boy Portrait). The jukebox is also gone. Instead of that, there was a karaoke machine playing 'We are the Champions' by Queen.

It's still a classic hole in the wall. Sandwiched between three other bars, D' Lovers Nitespot is for me, one of the landmarks of Baclaran. It wouldn't even cross your mind that this place has been operating for 29 years. Although it looks like it.

I wonder if Boy 'Karaoke' has updated the songs in the machine...

26 May 2003

INTERMISSION

Seems people like to email me rather than comment. Wonder why? Anyway, I have about three (wow! three! count them, three!) requests for my ghost experiences. For some reason, all three requests arrived the same day! As I keep telling people, my ghost stories are pretty boring. Not the holywood kind of spook story. Check out the blog within the week, My stories are kind of long. I'll see if I have time to write it down.

Also, to CS, JR, MP, and the others, hope my readings helped. Like I told you guys, it's really hard to read from an email but complete names would help. And don't give me details! Just a general question that could be answered by yes or no. I know my readings are a little late but hey! With all the stuff that I'm doing, I do hope you guys understand...

Oh and Erica or Ercs got her desire to be on google. She must be one happy this time.

25 May 2003

BACLARAN FIESTA

Every third Sunday of May is the Feast Day of Santa Rita de Cascia (The Patron of Impossible Causes). She is the patron saint of the town of Baclaran (Baclaran is about five minutes away from the International Airport, here in Metro Manila, Philippines). Before, the town was alive with celebration and parades.

Early in the morning, the statue of the patron saint is brought to Manila Bay and is put in a "karakol" (a small raft, decorated with flowers). Afterwards, the saint is then returned to the parish church for mass. The whole afternoon, all the streets of Baclaran are full of people participating in games, contests, and small staged shows. After the six o' clock mass, the patron saint is put in a float, known here as a "caro", decorated with flowers and paraded around the town.

Afterwards, "serious" contests are staged such as the Baclaran Singing Competition, Miss Baclaran, and even Miss Gay Baclaran are the popular ones to watch. The "Hermana Mayor" is the one who spends for the whole fiesta. Band, decoration, prizes and all. I used to remember, people lined up to become the "Hermana/Hermano" for the year. In fact, years ago, one of the reputed gambling lords of the Philippines was "Hermano".

Now, times are hard. The Saint this time was not put in a karakol. The bay was filled over. A new highway, by the boulevard and the construction of a new mall (the biggest in Asia) was built over the reclamed land. The saint was just paraded around the reclaimed area.

Now, instead of throngs of people lining up the streets waiting for the caro to pass by, only a smattering of people just showed up. There are no games and whatnot in the streets in the afternoon. All the contests at night are gone. We didn't even know if there was a Hermano this year. Instead of the lavish feast my parents and grandparents used to prepare for the whole afternoon, our main dish was Kentucky Fried Chicken.

I don't know if it's progress or the economy. All I know is, my daughters will never experience the fun I had when I was a kid every third Sunday of May.

24 May 2003

PHILIPPINE HEADLINES

Estrada: I am still president
de�men�tia [di m�nsh?] (n )
psychiatry cognitive and intellectual deterioration: the usually progressive deterioration of intellectual functions such as memory that can occur while other brain functions such as those controlling movement and the senses are retained.
See also senile dementia


FPJ plays championship billiards in 'Pakners'
o�men [o'men] n (plural o�mens)
prophetic sign: a happening that is regarded as a sign of how somebody or something will fare in the future
vti (past o�mened, past participle o�mened, present participle o�men�ing, 3rd person present singular o�mens)
indicate something�s future: to indicate the future course of events relating to something


Nora Aunor holds audience in the palm of her hand
a�larm [a la'arm] n (plural a�larms)
1. warning device: a device for giving a warning of danger
2. security device: a security device fitted to property, especially a house or car, to make a warning sound if a break-in or theft is attempted
3. sound of security or warning device: the sound made by a security or warning device
4. See alarm clock
5. fear: fear caused by perception of imminent danger
6. call to arms: a summons to prepare to fight (archaic)
7. fencing challenge made by stamping: a warning or challenge to a fencer made by stamping the leading foot
vt (past a�larmed, past participle a�larmed, present participle a�larm�ing, 3rd person present singular a�larms)

23 May 2003

RUNNING ON EMPTY

Okay looking at the stuff that I have to fixup, getup and cleanup over the weekend;

1. Two (2) WIlson Badminton Rackets. Must buy shuttlecocks
2. VHS copy of Treasure Hunt to be returned to Video City; four days overdue. (Why the hell did I borrow this?)
3. Thermostat on the ref inside our room. Something is wrong, freezer has too much frost.
4. Fix the motor of the aquarium. My fish (a twelve inch Golden Arrowana) keeps knocking it out. Been through about five already. Actually, I don't have to do it anymore. Fish is dead. After five years of rocking back and forth in a twenty gallon tank.
5. An unopened bottle of Finlandia Vodka, an almost full bottle of Jaegermeister, and an almost empty bottle of Jack Daniels. All from two months ago. (Hey! I don't drink but that chilled 1/4 Jack 3/4 Coke really is cool!)
6. A HUGE Marlboro banner I was planning to use as shade but never got to.
7. Four watches with the wrong time. All working.
8. Wedding Pictures from nine years ago that still hasn't been arranged. It was a do-it-ourselves kind of wedding.
9. Clean the aircon filters.
10. Blog something interesting.
11. Clean all my shoes.
12. Be the President of the Philippines.

Okay, to be honest, I'd probably just do one thing from all of this. Watchatink it is?

22 May 2003

I'M A GNOMIE!

Whoa!!!! Woke up Wednesday morning to find out I've been selected as a contributor for Lockergnome.com!!!

To all those Chris Pirillo fans, that means I'm about two degrees away from the guy. Man! Check out my first contributions at Lockergnome.com.

And to think I have an opportunity to write for Mabuhay Magazine too! Things are definitely looking up!

Oh! Be sure to check out Movie Poop Shoot. It's one helluva site for pop culture! From Terminator 3 to Kevin Smith to Buffy! It's a one stop shop for all the crazed fanboys out there.


20 May 2003

I CHOOSE THE MATRIX

Yup. Just saw Reloaded. Either I'm getting real old or the movie didnt' really live up to the hype. Don't get me wrong, I liked it but not as much as the first one. It did give me insight to this thing I have.

I watched it at SM Cinema (Sucat) with my wife, Tess. They had two theatres showing the movie. The moviehouse was only about a quarter full (hey, Monday night, last full show, whatchapect?) Too bad it was rated R since my daughters Lulu and Gabbi were looking forward to watching it. They loved the first one (I think Trinity was one of the blueprints for Naly Naly Spy). They just skip the mouth scene though...

When I saw The Sixth Sense, people approached me and told me that now they understand what I go through everyday. Now, with Reloaded, the argument between choice and destiny/causality is in the forefront. Are we really just fooled to a fall sense of reality that we do have free will? As one who "reads" almost everyminute of everyday, The Oracle makes sense. But then again, this time, There is a Spoon... No forks though....

Oh before I forget, this could be a really thought out hoax or that this is the working script for Christopher Nolan's Batman: The Frightening

Additional: Mentioned to Tess what character I could be if I was in the Matrix. She told me none. I'm too duh to be in it. She inveneted a character for me: Porkeus...

19 May 2003

TIME AND THE FILIPINO (PART ONE)

Growing up in the Philippines has instilled in me one actuality that only applies to us Filipinos; Time is inconsequential. Undoubtedly, the saying "Filipino time" is already known to the majority of the global population. It is a required topic whenever our culture is discussed.

To the uninitiated, Filipino Time (FT) is our perception of what actually is the time of meeting rather than what was agreed upon. This is usually around thirty minutes later than the Actual Time (AT). Confused? Well, let?s say I get a call from an Account Executive asking if I could meet her at 10am. It is understood that 10am could mean 10:30am or even 10:40am, depending on random factors such as the weather, what breakfast I had, or the name of her pet cat. It is very much instilled in us that we expect people to practice it.

There is no set guideline on FT. Here are a few "loose" rules to help you over this anomaly;

1. The Decision maker has priority over FT.

2. The Golden Rule of FT: Who has the gold controls the clock.

3. Apologies for being late, as a rule, are optional. In place of apologies are excuses such as:
a. Traffic;
b. The previous meeting started late;
c. The line was long at the supermarket;
d. The person had to have a haircut

4. It is not considered tardy if the person arrives up to one hour after. The more important the person, the more leeway he or she gets.

5. The farther one is from the Philippines, the less the difference it is from AT (Actual Time) to FT (Filipino Time). If the person to be met is of great importance or of another nationality then more so that the difference from AT to FT approaches zero.

6. If everyone does arrive on time, then something must be wrong or that someone's life or career is in jeopardy.

16 May 2003

MELTDOWN

Red Dwarf Season 4 Episode 6

Kryten discovers a matter transporter in the research bay of Red Dwarf. It can capably transport any matter up to 500,000 lightyears away instantly. The crew decides to explore a planet with a bearable atmosphere 200,000 light years away. To ensure the safety of Lister and Kat, Kryten (an android) and Rimmer (a holographic projection) goes ahead to scout the planet. If everything is safe, they will send the transporter back for them to follow.

After looking around, Kryten sends the transporter back to Lister and Kat. The planet they went to is actually Waxworld. A planet filled with wax androids of historical and fictional figures of human history. Fortunately, or unfortunately after millions of years of neglect, the androids manage to break their program and are capable of independent thought. The population of androids split into two factions and are constantly at war with each other. On one side are the infamous personalities such as Caligula, The Boston Strangler, Hitler, and Rasputin. On the other side are the famous ones such as Elvis, Ghandi, and Mother Theresa.

Losing the matter transporter to Hitler after mistakingly appearing in their war room, Lister and Kat are imprisoned. Later, they both escape with Abraham Lincoln and discover that Rimmer takes charge of the other side and appoints himself as their leader, much to the exasperation of Kryten.

After voicing their concerns that Rimmer is a complete smeghead and would botch things up, Rimmer orders Elvis to detain Kat and Lister. With them out of the way, Rimmer initiates his plan. His strategy being;

1. To attack under the cover of daylight. (The enemy would not expect it)
2. Their attack would be from the east, which of course is the minefield.
3. Mother Theresa and Kryten will sneak up the other end, turn on the thermostat and melt the enemy away.

Amazingly, Rimmer's plan works. Lister and Kat, now released, find out that the whole enemy were wiped away... And that none of Rimmer's army survived. Piqued that Rimmer, despite what happened, is basking in his "victory", Lister takes Rimmer's Light Beam (device needed to project Rimmer) and swallows it. He consoles, Kryten and Kat that Rimmer will be "back in a couple of days".

End Credit is Elvis singing the Red Dwarf theme.


Favorite Dialogue:

Rimmer: And you're all that's left? Just a smattering of intellectuals, pacifists, and celebrities?
Einstein: We number less than twenty
Pythagoras: If only we number twenty one, then at least we could have formed an equilateral triangle...

13 May 2003

ADDITIONAL

Seriously, I feel weird about the days before, after and including the 15th. Like something really bad is going to happen. It's something that might affect everybody. Not SARS but has the letters LS RC or something like that. Jumbled perhaps. Not for anything, but it would be better to lay low those days..

ACK! ACK! ACK! MONDAY! ACK!

Excuse me for a minute here.... aaauuugggghhhhhh!...*uhurm*So, like I said, I am feeling a bit uppetty.

Ack! Working in the Philippines is... surreal. It's like stepping into a Hitchcock movie with Robin Williams as your conscience. Where am I going with this? Well, it's about my day today. Started out in the morning with a meeting with a financial institution. To get there, I had to take the bus that goes the long way accross (via Buendia) rather than the shorter way (via EDSA) because that route was faster. After waiting for an hour for the dude to arrive, the meeting was finished in thirty. More than half of that was chit chat on life, the business, whatnot. Seems, my answers could have been relayed over the phone. But then again, how do you fax a kick in th... i mean how do you fax a smile?

So, after overemphasizing the meeting in the morning, I had like two hours extra before the next one with a tech company. Which was about two long blocks away. Greenbelt, actually. Greenbelt is nowhere to be hungry as a pig, sweating like a horse, and broke as a flowerpot in Mendiola. The meeting was after lunch. I left my ATM at home! I only had a hundred smackeroos. Thank god for Jamaican patties! I was so *uhurm* famished that I let the filling just sizzle down my parched throat.

Quick aside: Where are the water dispensers in Greenbelt. You know, like the ones in high school? There should be a law. Well either I'm right or that the jamaican filling just scorched the nerve endings out of my throat that I was blind from the pain. But they are so "I can kill yo momma for this" kind of good..

Where was I? Oh yeah, Greenbelt. If you look at the mall, it seems like a movie trilogy;

Greenbelt I: Made on a small budget with no name establishments but was a surefire hit.

Greenbelt II: Budget was double that of Greenbelt I and offered the same as 1 but had more special effects. Ended on a cliffhanger with that I want more kind of feeling. Cast of characters were added with name brands.

Greenbelt III: Over the top special effect with over the top casting. Leaves a blah kind of aftertaste. It seems everything was thrown together just to finish the whole series. Hey! Where are the ewoks?

Ooops but I digress. So anyway, to wind this all up. My two pm meeting was over coffee ended around three. So there I was, hungry, sweating, broke, and pissed off. Then I get a text from the office asking where I was. I distinctly remember advising my boss Friday about it, twice. Went back to the office to face...nothing.

So where am I leading up to? I want to win the lotto! oh and visit Rennes Le Chateau.

09 May 2003

THERE IS NO BLOG

Get it here! The first review of The Matrix Reloaded!

07 May 2003

THIS CLAIMER IS AT THE BOTTOM

jobert composes himself and goes through the lines one more time
*Uhurm*....
Most blogs are witty, funny, coherent, informative, emotional, etc., etc., ...
Not this one.
The author of this blog, wants this to rise above other blogs and be the icon of pretention
As such... the author will promise the following things:
1. Not to use the phrase "rant and rave" as this is the most prevalent phrase in blog history (don't believe me? google it!)
2. The blog will not be consistent in content. One day, it's this. The next, it's that. On really seldom days, it will be passable.
3. This blog will not use foul language but visitors are free to ran...scratch that, visitors are free to use monster freakin' vulgarity.
4. The author will occasionally mention in the blog that he is the jobert from 1968, hence would be one of the real old joberts around.
5. All grammatical errors and spelling errors are intended. Akin to Larry Alcala hiding in his strips, the author would sometimes put in errors in the log to see if anyone would notice.
6. The author, who is jobert, will try and mention his name, jobert, a lot of times so when he Googles his name that is jobert, Google will will report this blog, which is jobert's. It must be reiterated that the author of this blog is jobert.

The author, jobert, will want to end this with a haiku...

Fish in the ocean...
Deeper, they go. Never drowns...
this blog is like that...

06 May 2003

NALY NALY SPY

Naly Naly Spy, Kate, and Puppy are a super group tasked to save the world. They are not the most perfect group. Puppy can't fight and has the tendency to bite statues. On some occassion, he would talk to inanimate objects, specially when he gets nightmares. Kate is the big sister of Naly who advices her on problems. Kate sometimes stays at home and leaves Naly alone with Puppy on their missions. Naly is the super spy. Always saving the world. Did I mention that Puppy never sleeps because of his nightmares? Despite his problems, he always accompanies the group on missions, adding hysterics and the occasional slapstick moments.

Naly Naly Spy already has at least five movies out (soon to come out on DVD...)

1. Naly Naly Spy
2. Naly Naly Park Adventure
3. Naly Naly Sea Adventure
4. Puppy's Disaster Birthday Party
5. Puppy's Scariest Ghost Holiday

Of course, you can't find these anywhere since these are from my two daughters imagination, Lulu (8) and Gabbi (5). They have collaborated on all of the Naly Naly Spy movies and have drawn it all on paper. Now, if only I have a way of transferring it on film....

04 May 2003

LOOK OUT HERE! THE SLIME'S COMING HOME!

Nothing really gets you back in that "ok, life is ummm... ok" mood than watching Red Dwarf. That series really rocks! Not as funny as some of the mainstream UK comedies, but this one is on top of my chart. Holly (the ships computer) sums the whole premise up in the intro of the series...

"...This is an S.O.S. distress call from the mining ship Red Dwarf. The crew are dead, killed by a radiation leak. The only survivors are Dave Lister, who was in suspended animation during the disaster, and his pregnant cat, who was safely sealed in the hold. Revived three million years later, Lister's only companions are a life-form who evolved from his cat, and Arnold Rimmer, a hologram simulation of one of the dead crew."
Rimmer is played by the butler in Tomb Raider, Chris Barrie.

Additional: Just when I got that whole earthquake thing out of my system, what happens? I get another tingling vibe!!! Hoookay! This is about ten days or so from now and doesn't seem to point in an eq kind of situation. It's more manmade... Let's see what happens...
Oh... and here's the theme song:

It's cold outside,
There's no kind of atmosphere,
I'm all alone,
More or less.
Let me fly
Far away from here.
Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun.

I want to lie
Shipwrecked and comatose,
Drinking fresh
Mango juice.
Goldfish shoals
Nipping at my toes,
Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun.
Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun.

I pack my bags
And heading into hyperspace,
Velocity
At timewarp speed.
Spend my days
In ultraphonic bays,
Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun.

We're locked on course
straight to the universe,
You and me,
And the galaxy.
We've reached the stage
Where I'll have to trash the gauge
Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun.
Fun, fun, fun, in the sun, sun, sun.

02 May 2003

FRUITS OF LABOR DAY IN DAY OUT

Before I begin, I hate it when I'm right like this. Just when I announced my earthquake radar is gone. This happens I gotta handle this thing of mine so I can at least pinpoint when it's going to happen again. If only I could at least reach the right people...

And some say what I have is cool. It's not when you see something beforehand that's tragic and there's nothing you can do about it. It's partially why I started this blog in the first place. To get messages like this (April 25/Voices) across. Last week, I knew some sort of tragedy was going to happen. I mean, 84 people killed 100 children trapped is not a cool thing to foresee. No wonder my insomnia is kicking up... I don't know the reason I get this vibe til now it's more for helping the day to day problems of people around me. But if I could just figure out how to control this, maybe there would be lesser victims...

I'm really bummed out with this... I'll just blog in later...