22 January 2010

Failure to Reconnect

What a day.

I can see where this new year is headed.

Nowhere but up.

For some reason, I have no enemies nor do I have people who have grudges or anger towards me. Not one.

Well, except for one.

You can't win em all. So, I decided to patch things up and reboot that part of my life. I know it's all my fault and all my doing. But the weirdest thing is that I all I get back is hate, anger, and sarcasm. Well, not exactly hate and anger. Each word I say is digested with cynicism and expunged with sarcasm. Did I say sarcasm twice? ugh.

It's a long way to Tipperary.

Seriously, I want to have a clean slate. Whatever I have done, I want to correct. It's a fresh start for me (for the thousandth time, I guess). But this is real now. I'm not getting any younger.

Anyway, this whole month, old friends have decided to call, text, email, facebook me. It's like the universe is sending out signals to everyone to contact me. It's the weirdest thing. I feel like it's my farewell tour or something. Next week, I have 2 coffee get togethers, the gang is scheduled to meet up, a reunion with some grade school friends next month and I have a dinner with other friends to attend. The list is getting long. Time is getting short.

Specially now that I have 2 jobs and just managing to eek out just enough to get by daily.

It feels good though. Looking back and seeing how many friends I have. I may not be wealthy but I am blessed with all the friends I have. So why am I bothered with that one on the corner who has strayed?

I don't know, maybe it's because I still see that person as a friend. Regardless of the circumstance. And I was told, this person seems to have spread ugly news about me. Forgive and forget, I did. Well, not exactly did I forgive since I didn't bring that part up or mention that I know. But let's just say, it wasn't an issue for me. (To those who know me, you better pick up your jaw, it's on the floor). It really isn't an issue anymore.

I'll take the high road with that one.

Sticks and stones.

Anyway, I'm happy with myself now. Maybe that's why I feel better writing again. I'm more honest with myself again. And hopefully more humble and sincere. nyuk nyuk.

No more arrogant and resillient.

I like to be understanding and striving.

Not as catchy but it's the truth.