Breathe. Just breathe.

"...2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to..."

Breathe (2AM)
Anna Nalick

That one is a real close song to me since I don't know when.

Funny that when I started up my music player, that this song started playing. It kind of reminds me of some fun facts. Appropriate now that Halloween is close approaching.

1. Despite my fervent endorsement of Chasing Amy. No one close to me has ever seen it.
2. Nirvana to me is the greatest but Pearl Jam's Elderly Woman Behind The Counter in a Small Town is my personal fave number one song.
   

   It's kind of about a lady, and she's getting on in years, and she's stuck in this small town. Small towns fascinate me: You either struggle like hell to get out, to some people want to stay 'cause then they're the big fish in the small pond, and then others just kind of get stuck there. So here she is working in this little place, and then an old flame comes in, and he's probably driving a nice car and looking kind of sharp - not a fancy car, but he's moved on. And then she sees him, and at first she doesn't even remember who he is, and then she realizes who it is. She's just too embarrassed to say 'hello'
   
   That's Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam talking about that song.



3. Firefly, The Office (UK and US Versions), Red Dwarf and the IT Crowd are my favorite TV series.
4. I just got into Heroes because of one person. I'm now up to date with all the episodes up to Season 2 Episode 2, Lizards.
5. Sylar is my favorite "Hero" because of all, he's the only one who truly embraced his abilities. The rest just whine and cry about what happened to them.
   
6. I'm not really a fan of online chat. And without a solid reason to, I don't really log on.
7. I have a phobia with ringing phones.
8. Due to events of past years, I've become more of a black and white person. No gray areas for me now.
9. I've never really actively looked for a relationship. Never went out to meet people for that matter. They just happen.
   
10. I've had relationships that started because of the weirdest reasons:
1. I was just lying in the couch and this girl (who's a friend, of course) just went up and kissed me. That lasted less than 3 months.
2. I was invited to a party and I met a girl who just got out of a self imposed "no boyfriend for 2 years" exile and said she'd hook up with the first guy she meets. I was the first guy there since I wanted to leave early. 7 months.
   
3. Although we were just casual friends, she mentioned that she'll be there for me for "49 Million Years". I thought that was cute. 6 months.
4. I kissed her and she kissed back. So much for that. 2 years
5. As she left, crossing the road, I wished she would stop and look back. She didn't. 5 months.
11. I hardly ask for anything. Most, if not all, know that. I even have a hard time telling people where I want to go, when on a date! I always defer to the other person. It takes a lot from me when I request for something and that's very very rare.
    

It's been a real wild 2007 for me. I've compromised a lot. I've given up a lot. I've hit my lowest point. I've basically withstood everything thrown at me and to tell you the truth, that kitchen sink really hurt!

I don't even know the purpose of this post. Just some funky rambling. It's neither here nor there. Well, I think that sums me up at this moment.

Alone. Lonely. Lost.

Now all I got to do now is breathe. Just breathe.