10 July 2005

The Tigang L, L for Loser

"What?!", I blurted out.

"The ex boyfriend sent a text message to MY girlfriend practically begging for sex", The Dude calmly tells me. His smirk is one for the books. Something between pissed off and of amusement.

"Now why would he do that?", I asked.

"IT not he. It's not even a man for what IT did. Well, maybe IT isn't getting any and the funny thing is, IT even phrased the text like IT's doing MY girlfriend a favor."

"What a pathetic loser", I said.

Our conversation was kind of cut off when someone at the end of the bar gave out drinks. After a stiff vodka shot, a response of another round of drinks from the other end of the bar, another vodka shot and some small banter, we continued our conversation.

"So, what did you do?", I asked while feeling a bit of buzz from the two free vodka shots.

"I started to get pissed off, that's what I did! But after awhile, I felt sorry for the loser. I mean, how desperate can you get that you have to beg for sex from someone who you left in the first place? That thing's got no balls, no guts, and no life. I have this mental picture of IT as a slimy squirmy turtle head who browses porn sites with a bottle of vaseline on hand. Why, if I ever get to bump into it, I'll go Samuel Jackson on its butt! And I mean Samuel Jackson Pulp Fiction 'Does He Look Like A Bitch' Samuel Jackson."

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Cool down dude!", I told The Dude.

"Sorry about that. IT just gets to me. First IT texts her hi hello and stuff then proceeds to tell her that IT's tigang (dry) then ends up asking for just thirty minutes of sex. What would you do?", he tells me.

I take a deep breath and tell him, "Well, you're right. He is a pathetic loser. And it is really way past irritating. Did she say yes? Did she hide it from you? I mean, you're girlfriend is with you now. Not him. You should feel sorry for the loser. He's more than a loser for what he did. His name should start with an L, L for loser, heck! Maybe his name does start with an L, you know what I mean. Just the fact that he did that proves what he is. It is funny though. I mean, I wouldn't go out and beg for sex. That's just so... so.. ummm.. what's a better word for pathetic?"

The Dude smiles and says one word that just encapsulates what the loser is.