I always wanted to use the word epiphany in a sentence

The weirdest thing.

The first ten minutes of Collateral just gave me the most relaxing feeling in a long time. I don't know why. I mean, I just had the urge to stop the movie, close my eyes, and think of nothing.

A lot of things are happening around us these days. Sometimes, I feel weird not worrying about them. I mean, what's the right thing to do? Worry about myself and my problems or focus on how to make this world a better place to live in?

Choices, choices. Should it be the self righteous route? Or should it be the self centered path? I could go the self centered, self righteous combo. But then, I'd sound like an ass, wouldn't I?

I have tons of stuff to post but it just seems it isn't the right time to do so. The problem is, I feel it never is the right time. Aren't blogs supposed to be an outlet to vent out feelings, thoughts, and whatnot? So why this hesitation? Ignore the question. I mean, I know why. I...

Wait. I'm digressing.

What was I talki... oh yeah. Relaxing. I went thru a lot of movies this past few days. And each day didn't seem different from the previous one. Well, except for today. Oh wait, I forgot, I've been on vacation leave since Tuesday. I went on vacation because of my accident last week. And because I have some leave time I have to finish up before the year ends.

So, each day wasn't that different from the previous one. Except tonight. Of all the movies I watched, it's Collateral that gets me. Going around the city at night. Improvisation. Jazz. Loneliness. Forget the killing and the violence. This movie is riveting.

Ooops. Not riveting. Relaxing.

And like most of my posts, I don't know what my point is. And I don't know how to end one.

I Didn't Know The Great Pumpkin Gives Out Gifts

Gabbi has school off today. I decided to bring her with me later to the mall. Well, Lulu overheard me telling Tess that. And since Lulu has school, she can't come.

So now I have a letter from Lulu. She's telling me to buy GABBI this book. And that this book is GABBI's favorite.

Of course, I should ignore the fact that Lulu owns the first three volumes.

What's the fuss about? Everyone does it here...

This is going to break Lulu's heart.

Ashlee Simpson's lip synch gaffe on SNL. The clip, the story, and more.

LINK

Watcha waiting for?

I am jobert's second chance...

I've been blogging how I would want to change but things get in the way. One thing got in the way alright. Friday night, I had a life threatening accident.

I totalled the Great White Hope. If it weren't for my seatbelt, I would have flown out the windshield and you guys would be wondering why I stopped posting after the "10 things you shouldn't buy new".

My whole life didn't flash before my eyes. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. No trauma. No shock. Just an "Oh shit. I'll be late for my Malate gig". After the usual police report and stuff, I rushed home and CHANGED CARS. Two hours after what could have been my last minutes on Earth, I was in another car rushing to Malate.

I finished the gig. Had a few drinks (well... coffee is a drink, right?) at my favorite hangout (The Blue Frog) and headed home. It was like nothing happened.

But when I saw the kids sleeping, I couldn't stop shaking. It dawned on me. I could have died without saying goodbye to them;
Without teaching Lulu her latest math lesson which I do every Saturday;
Without getting that "super duper flying embrace" from Gabbi when she wakes up;
Without saying a last thank you to my supportive brother;
Without taking Lulu to her Saturday class;
Without a proper last message to them to take care and how I love them;
Without giving away the last Gmail invites I have.

Things really work out in the weirdest way. Funny how a f*ck up could put things into perspective. Well, tonight, I went home first. Played with the kids. Listened to Lulu's disappointment on not getting an academic award. Shared Gabbi's excitement on getting one this Wednesday. Really relished the small things in life that I took for granted.

Man, what I didn't look forward to is the ribbing I got from the office when they found out.

Oh yeah, and that I'd be taking the cab for the next few weeks...

10 things you shouldn’t buy new

" Few people really enjoy wasting their hard-earned money, but many of us do it every day by buying new. We could do our pocketbooks, and the environment, a big favor by opting to be the second owner of some of the stuff we buy.

Obviously, some things are best purchased new; lingerie pops to mind. But lots of other stuff depreciates quickly while still having plenty of useable life left. Here are 10 items where the cost vs. use equation strongly tilts toward buying used...."

Hey! What's wrong with buying used lingerie? I heard Japan's got vending machines full of them...

LINK

Oranges? Anyone?

"Just when I thought that I was out they pull me back in..."
Michael Corleone
Godfather III

Are we really that resistant to change? Even when our mind and body is conditioned for change, situations happen that force us to face and ultimately (for me..) embrace the status quo.

That sucks.

But then again, we are given the choice to turn our back to the tried and tested. But what do we do? We keep running back to it. Embrace it. Nurture it. Cradle it. And never let it go.

Anyway, despite my futile attempts to make things right, some changes has happened;

1. The Russian Roulette (my red car) retired. One big sign is when the pedicab starts overtaking you in the streets. Now I have the Great White Hope (not temporarilly I wish...);

2. I'm not that short tempered anymore. More serene. I take everything with a grain of salt now. I feel like Caine from Kung Fu. Short of walking the earth...;

3. Been stepping up my work 300%. I have to since the competition is hell bent on going up against me toe to toe. And to think there's around five of them versus one of me...

I'm just waiting for the time when I'll be level headed enough to work out my life. I've been jumping from situation to situation just for the rush and exhilaration it gives. Change number two is one small step towards it but who knows when it'll last?

Not everyone gets mushrooms and cookies

These past few months were really hard on me.

It seems I lost my sense of direction. All I could do was close my eyes as I spiral down the never ending rabbit hole. Or was it a gopher hole? The hard part was that I was enjoying the fall. It's as if it was natural to feel that way. The minute an opportunity to get up came, I'd kick it in the ass, jump down and let gravity have its way with me.

Well, it ends today.

Today is the beginning of the rest of my life... I hope.

I started Last Friday by watching the following films; This is Spinal Tap, Seven, Fight Club, Trainspotting, Pulp Fiction, and Boogie Nights. That got me back on the up and up a bit. In between watching those films, I got really really sick. I didn't go to work. I watched FOX News. I didn't go out. I didn't talk to anyone. I basically bummed out during the weekend.

Oh yeah. I also readjusted my priorities in life. Nothing beats facing a new day with adjusted priorities. It's like reading a slew of type font 24 Deepak Chopra mantras while having a bowl of cheerios and a glass of caffeinated orange juice for breakfast. It's just riveting, in a quiet sense of the word. I would have used the word brainwash but that just reeks of negativity, don't you think?

Oh and before I forget, I would like to thank the pharma industry for the invention of Nyquil which shepherd me thru the valley of despair and hopelessness. Not too mention the chills, shakes, coughs, etc. etc. Don't forget, I mentioned that I was also sick. I meant, really really sick.

Where was I? Oh yeah, fixing up my life...

So, what's ahead of me now? I don't know. And I am excited that I don't know. I have discarded my fears, worries, and hang ups. I am two steps shy of becoming one of those religious liberal fanatics praising life and whoever their god may be while castigating non believers into the deepest bowels of their image of hell.

Of course, I don't get religious in the way of my beliefs. It's just too constricting. Nyquil is way more soothing and nurturing. Trust me. It may cause drowsiness and sleepiness so avoid heavy machinery, alcohol, and eating with chopsticks.

Movie of the Week

"...You are not your job
You are not how much money you have in the bank
You're not the car you drive.
You're not the contents of your wallet.
You're not khakis.
You are the all singing, all dancing crap of the world....

Listen up maggots,
You are not special.
You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake.
You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else.
We are the all singing, all dancing crap of the world.
We are all part of the same compost heap....

We cook your meals.
We haul your trash.
We connect your calls.
We drive your ambulances.
We guard you while you sleep

Do not f*ck with us...."

USGS Earthquake Hazards Program: Earthquake Report: MINDORO, PHILIPPINES

Preliminary Earthquake Report

Mist or Ghost?

LINK

""...About 2 seconds into the "commercial" notice something moving along the side of the car, like a ghostly white mist that looks humanish...."

You probably have to observe it closely. It took me about four times before I saw it. It seems not as spooky as I thought it would be. Well either that or I have had too much coffee.

(via Museum of Hoaxes)

MIT OpenCourseWare

So you have extra time on your hands, an internet connection and a real need to learn something new? Why not mozy on over to MIT's (and I mean MIT) self learning program, OpenCourseWare. There are over 900 courses available and it's all absolutely free!

Here's some lit from their site:

"Welcome to MIT's OpenCourseWare:

a free and open educational resource for faculty, students, and self-learners around the world. OCW supports MIT's mission to advance knowledge and education, and serve the world in the 21st century. It is true to MIT's values of excellence, innovation, and leadership.

MIT OCW:

* Is a publication of MIT course materials
* Does not require any registration
* Is not a degree-granting or certificate-granting activity
* Does not provide access to MIT faculty"

LINK

(via It's in the Vlad)

I prefer McDonald's of course...

Got this from a good friend. If anyone there can help...

My office, Maragondon Water District, had initially planned to do something special for Christmas for the children here in our town of Maragondon (a municipality in the province of Cavite in the Philippines).

Just to give everyone a little backgrounder:

For those not familiar with the town, Maragondon is a municipality in Cavite. It’s in between the towns of Naic and Ternate (where Puerto Azul Beach Resort is, as well as Caylabne Beach Resort). As of Census 2000, there are 31,227 people in this municipality. Basically the town gets its earnings from agricultural products, although right now a lot of the people here are trying their luck starting small business here and there but nothing major. Although there are some families here that are blessed with steady incomes and can provide for their children, there is still a large portion of the town that isn’t as fortunate (evidenced by the fact that Jimmy Carter went here personally to help build houses with Habitat for Humanity - you can check the site on that -- http://www.habitat.org/jcwp/99/ )

We planned to take at least 50 grade school kids selected by the public school teachers representing each barangay of our municipality to have a Christmas party. We would take them to McDonald’s or Jollibee (a local version of McDonald’s for the non-Filipino out there) and we would have a party with games and prizes/giveaways and everything. We had already discussed this in passing with some of the teachers and we were already planning what to do for that day to see how much would have to be spent. You see the thing is, if we take them to McDonald’s or Jollibee that’s a big deal in itself because we would be taking them to the branch in another part of Cavite since Maragondon doesn’t have that here.

Unfortunately, with the current financial crisis and the national government limiting expenses by government agencies and corporations, we won’t be able to push through with the party as planned since we cannot do this using office funds. This is disappointing because I was looking forward to giving these kids a nice little gathering that they would love for that time of the year. My officemates and I were thinking of pooling our money together to come up with at least the McDonald’s meal and transportation for all the kids but hey – going to McDonalds and not doing anything else doesn’t exactly make things that special right?

I wanted to sulk and just postpone the whole thing but I was wondering if anyone out there would be willing to help me and my officemates out. I just want this Christmas thing to push through!!!

If anyone knows anyone working for the management of McDonald’s or Jollibee (here in the Philippines of course) or any other foodie establishment who could help us by sponsoring the event or if you know anyone who works in companies who can help us to provide for little gifts for the kids and for prizes for parlor games and such, please let them know about what we would like to do for these kids. If anyone of you is willing to lend a hand in making a special Christmas for these kids, please let me know by emailing me at clarefrancisco777@yahoo.com .

And for the celebrity friends out there, if any one of you would like to take part in this by being there when this happens to make it extra special, please let me know – we would all really appreciate it out here. Or if anyone knows of any celebrity or something like that who could help in the entertainment part of the party, please let me know. I really want this to be a special day for the kids. We’ve scheduled December 17, 2004 (Friday) as the day for the party. We’re looking at maybe a morning till early afternoon thing, depending on what we can come up with.

I do hope there are kind hearted people out there who could help me out. This is totally legit and I will post photos of the event in my blog www.neverbeenkissed.blogdrive.com when it happens to show everyone if it does push through (if we get people to help, otherwise it would just be a simple trip to McDonald’s with the kids – which I will still post pics of anyway). This will also be published in the quarterly newsletter of the Cavite Association of Water Districts, which I am in charge of. If it turns out well, I could probably have it included in the Southern Tagalog Association of Water Districts newsletter as well.